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Seraphyna: The Psychological Polywere
Thursday, 2024-04-25, 0:08 AM
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The Whats

This is not going to be a topic concerning itself with whys. Why do I experience what I do and don’t? Why do things present themselves as they do? Where does it all come from? Nope, none of that. Go read "Psychological Otherkin and Me,” I’m sure it’s in there somewhere. No, this is a topic about that what. What do I experience? To what degree? That sort of thing. So, if you haven’t read the whys…go do it. Seriously, it might just help put the whats into perspective…because my whys are not exactly the traditional otherkin case of past lives, reincarnation, and new agey stuff. Not at all. Read it? Good. On with the show.

What is a typical day like. Let’s start there. Well, there is no such thing as a typical day. There are days I walk around in a haze and don’t shift at all. There are days when I’m all over the place. There are days when I’m constantly *insert theriotype here* the whole day. Yeah, no such thing as typical.

So what are my shifts like? Again, no such thing as typical and I have my theories on the whys, but like I said, this isn’t that sort of topic. We’re concerned with whats here, the whys are for another day. Okay, I have what I term 3 types of shifts. The first one is a human shift. Yeah, that sounds odd right? What do I mean by a human shift? Well, I mean taking on human traits that are not "my own”. Accents, mannerisms, personality quirks. I take on what I subconsciously figure will make me fit in. I don’t do it on purpose, it just happens. The second is called a cameo shift. It is called such because this refers to a shift that’s is not related to one's kintype(s)/theriotype(s) For example, I was watching a youtube video on baby sloths (which was utterly adorable) and I found myself feeling like my arms were longer, my nails were super long, and I was moving in slow motion, but it ended as soon as the video did (it was only a few minutes long) and was limited to fleeting phantom limbs only. Nothing vivid here, just randomness that has nothing to do with my theriotypes. Last type of shift I deem a "true shift". I’ll give this one it’s own paragraph.

Okay, "true shifts", here we go. A "true shift" is when I find myself experiencing phantom sensations and mental changes that are not fleeting, are not human, and are very animal either relating to a shark or a lion (or a random mesh of the two). Now, you’re going to ask me first off if I "lose myself” if I "lose my humanity”…and the answer is no. I have never had a shift so deep where I *am* the not human thing to the point where I could kill a puppy because I lost myself. Again, I have my theories on why, but we’re talking whats.

Now, that’s not to say human things make sense to me. Most of them don’t, regardless of whether I’m shifted or not, but that’s another paragraph and I’m getting off the present topic, so back to true shifts. A true shift, for me, can be mental, phantom, or both…and it is often both, at least the mental usually comes with phantom; the phantom true shifts aren’t always accompanied by a mental one. During these shifts I can either feel urges or limbs (or both). During a phantom shift, I can feel anything from some limbs, to phantom musculature and skeletal structure, to really anything in between. Some are more common than others, some are more detailed than others, and again I have the why theories I’m not concerning myself with in this topic. Ahem.

I do find myself experiencing my lioness theriotype more than my shark theriotype. When I’m in the water, I find myself phantom and mental shifting to the shark and the lion is mulling around in the background. The rest of the time, lion is in the foreground while shark mulls around behind the scenes. In either case, I experience my both of my theriotypes constantly to some degree. 

Some phantom limbs become more prevalent in various situations. Fore example, when I’m defensive I often find myself experiencing phantom claws and lion teeth more strongly. Same goes for the random mental shift, for example growling under my breath when annoyed. Anyway, I experience the desire to chase bunnies and squirrels in my yard. I growl at the squirrels. I love to run, and when I do I find myself running as a lioness (in my mind’s eye anyway, I’m obviously still human). I feel a bunch of various phantom limbs, depending on what sort of thing we’re talking. To list a few, I’ve felt a shark tail (and often try to swim with my legs together like I have said tail), I’ve felt a shark’s pectoral fins (and usually end up with my hands on my hips trying to mimic these fins), I’ve felt claws/tails/various skeletal and muscle differences in a phantom sense, I constantly find it awkward to close my mouth all the way because of the phantom lion teeth. The list goes on, but there you go. Mentally, I’ve wanted to drink blood, eat raw meat, chase down small animals, nuzzle, various mating things, been hyper alert, been predatory, wanted to be part of a colony (some sort of ant or termite cameo shift), etc.

I also find human babies and children repulsive. I hate the noises they make (especially when high pitched), dislike how they smell intensely, and am all around awkward when dealing with/handling them. Lion cubs, on the other hand, strike me as offspring. I would love to raise one, though I would be bothered by the fact that I couldn't care for it like a mother lion would.

Okay, the human stuff not making sense. A lot of human concepts don’t make sense to me, regardless of whether or not I’m shifted. I find my parents most often commenting on it because they have a serious notion of what "should be” and I’m not it (ok that was the only why for the thread). I don’t have a sense of morality that lines up with a lot of peoples’. Is it more animal? I don’t know. It’s not "normal human”. My ideas of right and wrong are not always everyone else’s. I see a lot of greys where most people don’t. A lot of my morality is situational instead of absolute. I don’t get the close family bond thing (again not discussion the possible whys), the owing people things when they don’t seem to feel the same towards me. I’m sure there are more examples, but they allude me. I often can’t find the words to describe what I think or feel, like human words can’t get it across …I guess that’s another example.

Last paragraph, here we go. So what is the bottom line, while we’re discussing whats? I identify as a psychological polywere, a psychowere if you will (though maybe that title makes me sound like a crazy axe murderer) and am something of a suntherian if we want to go with older terminology. Anyway, that’s all the whats. The whys are for another day, and if you haven’t read my other article, like I suggested you do at the beginning of this TL;DR, do it. Seriously

Category: My articles | Added by: Seraphyna (2012-02-24)
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